The ACLU and several other public interest groups have filed a brief with the Florida Supreme Court urging them to look into the use of automated facial recognition in criminal proceedings.

In 2015, two undercover cops purchased $50 of crack cocaine from a Black man on a Jacksonville street. Instead of arresting him on the spot, one officer used an old phone to snap several photos of him. Trying to be discrete, the officer took the photos while holding the phone to his ear and pretending to be on a call. Needless to say, the resulting photos were not headshot quality.

Later, after failing to identify the man themselves, the officers emailed the photos to a crime analyst, who used a statewide face recognition system to see if one of the photos looked like any mugshots in the county’s database. The program spit out several possible matches, the first of which was Willie Lynch, who was soon arrested and charged with the drug sale.

The ACLU argues that this is a problem:

If the government uses an error-prone face recognition system to identify you as the perpetrator of a crime, you have a constitutional right to probe its accuracy before you are convicted based on its results. But amazingly, a Florida appeals court disagrees.

If a cop stops you and makes you breath into an Intoxilyzer 9000, the results issued by that machine can be used in court as evidence of your blood alcohol content. On the other hand, if the cop whips out a cheap personal-use portable breathalyzer and you blow into it, the results aren’t admissible in court because the device hasn’t been approved for evidential use. (This is a simplification, I’m not a lawyer, don’t blame me if you get convicted, etc.) However, the cop can use the results of that non-evidential test to decide if he wants to go through the trouble of getting you to take an official test.

I can’t quite tell from the descriptions of the Florida case whether the FACES facial recognition system was used more like the Intoxilyzer 9000 or the cheap portable breath tester. That is, were the results of the facial recognition program entered into evidence — “We know it was the defendant because the facial recognition software says so” — or did the prosecutor have the cops make the ID — “We recognize this guy as the individual we bought the drugs from” — with the facial recognition software being the tool they used to find his identity (name, address, etc.) so they could visit him and identify him as the drug dealer themselves?

If the former, if facial recognition was used as evidence, then I think it would be pretty clear that the technology can be challenged by the defense, as breathalyzer evidence often is. Given that the county’s use of facial recognition software came as a surprise to many criminal defense lawyers in the area, I suspect that it was standard practice for the prosecutor to not reveal that law enforcement agencies were regularly using facial recognition technology in investigations.

Even if the facial recognition results were not introduced as evidence, the ACLU argues they should have been made available to the defense as Brady material:

If any of this information had come from a human witness—or, in the case of the analyst’s suggestive submission to the investigators, a lineup—it would clearly be Brady material. For example, FACES identified Mr. Lynch and several other people with similar confidence as the perpetrator. Had an eyewitness done so, the state would be unquestionably obligated to disclose the identification of the alternate suspects.

[citations omitted]

That makes a lot of sense to me. There is evidence that a witness’s ability to accurately identify a suspect by looking a photo is impaired if the photo is presented improperly. Showing only one photo is highly suggestive, and the image in the photo is likely to supplant the witness’s actual memory. So the defense needs to know the details of how the defendant was identified if they are to put on an effective defense.

That said, as a software engineer, I’m uncomfortable with how far the ACLU wants to take this:

Prosecutorial misconduct and police adoption of face recognition technology are dangerous, and the ACLU has been pushing to halt both. Until that happens, prosecutors must give defendants full access to information about the algorithm used against them in places where face recognition technology has already been deployed. This includes the underlying model, training data, computer code, explanatory documentation, and any other results from which the final, reported result was chosen. Any validation studies should also be available as well as the opportunity to question the people who use and created the system.

Where I come from, turning over the source code to a software product is huge. The intellectual property value of even a moderately-sized software system could run into the millions of dollars. And once the source code gets into a courtroom, it’s not unheard of for it to be released to the public:

In July 2016, Judge Valerie Caproni of the Southern District of New York determined in U.S. v. Johnson that the source code of the Forensic Statistical Tool, a genotyping software, “is ‘relevant … [and] admissible’” at least during a Daubert hearing—a pretrial hearing where the admissibility of expert testimony is challenged. Caproni provided a protective order at that time.

This week, Caproni lifted that order after the investigative journalism organization ProPublica filed a motion arguing that there was a public interest in the code.

If anyone wants to know what that source code looks like, it’s available here. As I write this, people have made 49 additional public copies. It’s copyrighted, of course, but I have no idea what the limits are on information released through the courts like this.

In addition, I’m not real thrilled about the idea that defense lawyers could routinely subpoena me every time some police agency uses something I wrote.

That said, I can certainly see where defense lawyers are coming from. When you’re fighting a DUI charge where an Intoxilyzer 5000 was used, it makes sense to want to know how an Intoxilyzer 5000 works, and that includes information about the source code for its software. That same thinking applies if your client was fingered by a FACES hit. It just kind of makes sense that software created for use by law enforcement should be subject to discovery and examination as part of any criminal proceeding resulting from its use.

But what about general purpose software? What if the forensic analyst used Photoshop to clean up the phone image before sending it to the facial recognition system? If lawyers can get the software for the the facial recognition system, can they also force Adobe to turn over Photoshop source code that cost them hundreds of millions of dollars to develop? That seems insane.

And what happens next time? Is there some sort of precedent established? Or does the software owner have to keep giving it up in court? And what about maintenance? I could see a defense lawyer demanding to examine the FACES source code, only to have the prosecution argue that the court had found the FACES software acceptable in a previous case, to which the defense lawyer responds, “That was version 3.5.4, this case is about version 3.6.2.”

I sort of assume that the legal system has some of this figured out already, because we’ve been using software systems for a long time, and the issue doesn’t seem to come up often. When prosecutors want call detail records for a phone admitted into evidence, the defense doesn’t usually get to examine the phone company’s billing software that was used to produce the record. Or in the case discussed above, nobody seems to be asking the cellphone manufacturer for source code for the software running on the phone that created the image.

In 2012, a defendant in a cold case was prosecuted on a DNA hit that was characterized as “1.62 quintillion times more probable than a coincidental match to an unrelated black person.” The defense wanted to make the state prove that those insanely high odds were accurate, so they requested the source code to the DNA matching algorithm.

The trial court determined that Chubbs was entitled to examine the source code under protective order.

This decision was overturned on appeal in 2015. The appeals court said that Chubbs’ stated reasons to access the source code, even under protective order, did not outweigh trade secret protections. Further, as the court writes, “access to TrueAllele’s source code is not necessary to judge the software’s reliability,” because validation studies and expert testimony are sufficient to make that determination.

That sounds like a reasonable conclusion. I’m a software engineer, and if you asked me to evaluate the accuracy of a piece of scientific software, I would be far more interested in the testing methodology than the source code. After all, the reason the software industry does so much testing is because you can’t judge the quality of software by code inspection alone.

Still, it’s not as if DNA software is perfect. I seem to recall (I can’t find a link) that at least one DNA matching program was found to have inaccurately coded population statistics, causing it to miscalculate the odds of a random match. That is exactly the sort of thing the defense team would like to discover, because it’s also exactly the sort of thing that gets innocent people convicted.

I hate the Kavanaugh confirmation process.

Supreme Court Justices are some of the most influential people in the country, and a relatively young guy like Brett Kavanaugh will affect the course of things in this country for decades to do come. But despite thousands of news stories, I have very little idea what he’s likely to do if he gets on the Supreme Court.

From the little I can gather from sources I trust,

• He’s a vanilla standard conservative nominee, not some kind of far-right radical.
• He’s pretty good on free speech issues.
• He sucks when it comes to the rights of the accused.
• I like that he appears to want to narrow Chevron deference.

I’ll probably dislike a lot of his rulings, but no more than I would almost anybody else likely to be nominated.

But we’re not talking about any of that right now. Instead, there’s this enormous public debate over Kavanaugh’s alleged behavior toward women when he was in high school and early college. The accusations started with holding a girl down and grinding against her at a high school party, with a relatively strong witness for something that happened so long ago. The next accusation escalated to waving his dick around near some woman’s face, but even the woman involved admits her memory is sketchy.

Then publicity hound Michael Avenatti popped up with a client who claimed that Kavenaugh participated in multiple gang rapes, with guys at parties lined up outside rooms where they could rape drugged women. And now I’m hearing something about two guys assaulting a woman on a boat, and some guy has come forward to say that he, not Kavanaugh, attacked the first woman, and then another guy has come forward also claiming that he was the real attacker…and then there’s something about devil’s triangles and “boofing” that my long experience on the internet tells me I should *not* try to look up…

At this point I’ve kind of given up on following the whole mess. So many people on both sides have exhibited what Reason‘s Robby Soave’s called “shameful certainty“:

A lot of people nevertheless seem completely convinced, one way or the other. Quite coincidentally, their conviction that Kavanaugh has been slandered, or that Kavanaugh is a sexual predator, seems to line up perfectly with whether they oppose or support Kavanaugh’s nomination to the Supreme Court. If you like the guy, you know he’s innocent, or that it doesn’t matter. If you fear he will provide a decisive vote against abortion rights, you know he’s guilty. Fence sitters are betraying women everywhere, according to the left, or are letting the Democrats pull off a con, according to the right.

[…]

It’s frustrating that so many people are beholden to their partisan convictions and blithely insistent that they know whether Kavanaugh is innocent. That may be something not even Kavanaugh knows, since he may have been blackout drunk at the time of the alleged incident. It’s frustrating that so many progressives would believe the accusation automatically, no matter how distant or unverifiable it may be. And it’s frustrating that so many conservatives think protecting Kavanaugh and elevating him to the Supreme Court is so important that it’s worth forgiving serious wrongdoing in just this one case.

I’ve seen so many Tweets from the left arguing that Kavanaugh supporters want an anti-abortion rapist on the court because it’s a war on women, and so many from the right arguing that each new accusation shows how unscrupulous the left is in protecting their right to murder unborn babies. I’m sure there are people approaching this issue with an understanding of nuance, contingent reasoning, and a willingness to allow for evidence that does not support their political goals, but they are being drowned out by the noise.

The Republicans are pretty much still in control of this, and they still have the votes. So unless something comes out about Kavanaugh that is (1) clearly true, (2) bad, and (3) new, the chances of him ending up on the Supreme Court are almost as good as the chance that Black Panther will be feeling a lot better by the end of the next Avengers movie. But in either case, we’re going to have to sit through a big loud fight.

A few days ago, Gabriel Malor pointed out this story:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB) — A judge has dismissed charges against two men who were convicted in the death of a woman as part of a “Satanic ritual” more than 25 years ago.

This is an all-too-familiar story. Garr Keith Hardin and Jeffrey Dewayne Clark were convicted of murder in 1995.  But after serving 20+ years in prison, DNA testing blew up the case:

Key pieces of evidence from the 1995 trial include a single hair found on victim Rhonda Warford’s sweatpants that an expert at the time said was similar to the hair of Hardin, her former boyfriend. Former Louisville Metro Police Detective Mark Handy said Hardin told him he worshipped Satan and was interested in sacrificing people. And police found a blood-stained cloth with what they called a “chalice” in Hardin’s bedroom, which they said was evidence that he killed animals and drank their blood as part of his worship of Satan.

But since then, DNA analysis shows the hair does not belong to Hardin. The blood on the cloth was actually Hardin’s blood, not an animal. And Handy was later found to have lied under oath about a different murder case, which defense attorneys say question his credibility.

(It will not surprise followers of the American justice system that the case included a jailhouse snitch: “At trial, the state relied on the testimony of a jailhouse informant who claimed that Clark confessed to the crime. Shortly after Hardin and Clark’s convictions, a letter surfaced revealing that the jailhouse informant attempted to solicit another inmate to fabricate testimony against Hardin and Clark to receive a reduced sentence.”)

The judge vacated the conviction, and an appellate judge upheld the ruling. Hardin and Clark were free…until prosecutors charged them with new crimes: Kidnapping and perjury. The kidnapping charge was based on evidence from the original case which they felt had not been discredited. They might sincerely believe that, for all I know. But the perjury charge is pure vindictiveness:

It also charges Clark with perjury, for testifying under oath in 2015 in a hearing on the motion for a new trial that he had never admitted any involvement in the murder when in fact he had previously testified before the Kentucky Parole Board in April 2006 that he helped move her body after her murder.

In other words, lock a man in a cage, threatening to keep him locked up if he doesn’t confess (because it worked for Moscow show trials), then when his conviction is vacated a decade later, use that coerced confession to prosecute him for perjury.

How the hell do things like this happen?

I’m not sure where and how things went wrong here, but they way the case against Hardin and Clark played out in our justice system is a reminder of something I’ve learned in years of blogging about policy issues: You can’t judge a policy by its intentions. The proper measure of a policy is how it functions in the real world. Once you understand how it really works and what it really accomplishes, you can work backwards to develop a better description of the policy, one that has the power to explain your observations of it.

Illinois law blogger Matt Haiduk does something like that in a post that looks at how “guilt” really works in our criminal justice system.

Guilt is a burden that can turn a witness into a defendant or turn the accused into an informant. Guilt is the negative attention of those in control.

Officer Lawman sees a baggy with traces of a green plant-like material on the center armrest of the rear seat in a car and tells all four occupants, “If somebody doesn’t claim this you’re all getting arrested…” Somebody–often the guy who’s already been arrested several times, even when it’s not his–always claims it.

One of them is really guilty or all four of them are “sorta” guilty, right?

Maybe the good officer shows up to that same house he’s been called to nearly every night and, well, “It’s the third trip here tonight, so somebody’s going to jail.” Who cares if they actually should? Truth doesn’t really matter. Doling out a little guilt solves the problem, at least for the time being.

…

Four guys go to rob and murder a rival gang member. All of them get charged, but how strong is the case when all the living witnesses are defendants (and didn’t talk to the police)?  Prosecutors decided who they really want to go after (maybe the guy with the worst record… or the guy who they think is the biggest jerk) and ease a little of that guilt burden of the guys they want for witnesses.

I think I’m pretty cynical about our criminal justice system, but Matt has spent years seeing it up close. I’ve got nothing on him:

Guilt is power. Guilt is control. Guilt is not truth or facts.

It’s sometimes created from thin air — often from the mouths of jailhouse snitches, mistaken witnesses, or others with a vested interest in a case (like an ex-spouse, or hated neighbor).

Seeing guilt as power the government exerts upon people is the only way to understand the system.

Read the whole thing.

There was an interesting criminal case out of Fairfax, Virginia the other day, involving a young lady named Sandra Mendez Ortega who stole some jewelry from Lisa Copeland while cleaning her house. The Washington Post lays out the events this way:

The case began with Copeland’s discovery in September 2016 that her engagement and wedding rings were missing from the container where they were usually kept. The engagement ring had been her grandmother’s, made in 1943, and the two rings were appraised at $5,000 in 1996, Copeland said. Copeland didn’t realize a third, inexpensive ring had been taken until it was turned in.

Fairfax City police investigated and interviewed the three women who had cleaned the home. All three denied taking or seeing the rings, court records show, and no one was charged.

But after the interviews, Mendez Ortega reportedly felt bad about the theft, admitted to her boss that she had the rings and turned them over to him. The police were contacted and Mendez Ortega confessed to them as well, saying she returned the rings after learning they were valuable. The police had her write an apology letter to Copeland, in Spanish, which said in part, “Sorry for grabbing the rings. I don’t know what happened. I want you to forgive me.”

The case went to trial, and the jury found her guilty. But in Virginia the jury is not only the finder of facts, but also has the job of deciding the sentence. I’ve heard Virginia criminal defense lawyers complain that this can lead to very harsh sentences, because jurors lack the sense of proportion that a seasoned criminal judge would have. In this case, however, the jury went the other way:

What the jury did was extraordinary. They felt bad for the young woman, pregnant with her second child, and agreed that she had made a dumb, youthful mistake. Reluctantly, they convicted her of the felony. But the fine they imposed was her daily pay as a maid, $60. And then they took up a collection and gave her the money to pay the fine.

Naturally, this has pissed off some law-and-order types. Gatewaypundit hilariously lives up to the stereotype by blaming the whole thing on liberal jurors who are just looking for a chance to hurt America by granting special favors to illegal immigrants:

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Fairfax County residents are some of the best educated, most worldly and wealthiest and liberal people in the nation. They can spot an illegal alien right away as they have willfully turned the D.C. suburb in to a haven for illegals. Mendez Ortega’s appearance on the witness stand during the penalty phase after her conviction made it clear she fit one of the profiles of illegals-she doesn’t speak English and worked as a a maid.

Fox News also leads with the illegal immigrant angle, and runs essentially the same story under the headline “Couple’s fury as jury pays illegal immigrant maid’s fine after jewelry theft conviction.”

That’s referring to the victim, who comes across as remarkably unsympathetic in news reports. I don’t mean that she has no sympathy for the woman who stole from her (although she doesn’t seem to), but that after reading her statements to the media I have very little sympathy for her. Obviously, stealing from her was wrong, and it was also a crime, but in the aftermath of the trial, she comes across as disturbingly vindictive. For example, regarding the letter of apology that Mendez Ortega wrote to her:

Copeland said she has never seen that letter, and that Mendez Ortega has never apologized to her in person. “Never saw it,” Copeland said. “Never heard about it until the trial, during sentencing.”

Well, the reason Copeland never saw the apology letter has nothing to do with Mendez Ortega. Copeland never saw the letter because the Fairfax police never gave it to her. That’s because they were deceiving Mendez Ortega when they got her to write a letter to Copeland. It a trick to strengthen the case against her, since almost anything she’d say in an apology for the theft would also be an admission of damaging facts. It’s a confession in the defendant’s own hand, which will be damning in court.

Nevertheless, Sondra Mendez Ortega most certainly did apologize for what she did. It’s not her fault that the police never delivered it. And as for an apology in person before trial, I’m pretty sure that’s an insanely bad idea. At the very least it would be another confession, and it could easily be construed as witness tampering.

“I was outraged,” Copeland said. “I was just flabbergasted. I didn’t think $60 equated to the crime at all.”

That was my first reaction too, but when I think about it, the outrage seems overblown. After all, this was

• a non-violent crime
• by a first-time offender
• who turned herself in,
• returned everything she took,
• and showed up to face her trial.

Given all that, the jury’s sentence of time-served with a nominal fine (and the collateral consequences of a felony conviction) doesn’t seem completely out of line. Many judges are aware of what jail can do to people, and they’re reluctant to put first-time offenders through the system for fear it will make everything worse.

At trial, the facts were not really in dispute. The jury did not hear from Mendez Ortega during the case in chief, but they were already sympathetic to her. “We didn’t feel she should have been tried and convicted,” said Memmott, the foreman. “We tried every way we could to find some way of not convicting her. But the legal standard was very clear.” Two other jurors agreed that the felony conviction was appropriate, given the facts and the law.

I’ve been on a jury that convicted someone of a felony. It’s not a fun experience, signing that verdict sheet and knowing I’m saddling them with a felony record and possibly consigning them to a cage for a long time. Just because they deserve punishment doesn’t mean it feels great to dish it out. All things considered, I’d rather I never have to do that again. Which is why this bit makes me so crazy:

Lisa Copeland was amazed. “The fact that she confessed,” she said, “and they didn’t want to convict her? I don’t get this. That’s basically saying it’s okay to steal.”

Good God. The jury may have said they didn’t want to convict her, but they did in fact convict her. So the victim is basically angry because the jurors didn’t enjoy it enough. What the hell?

(Obviously, she’s the victim here, and therefore she deserves some slack, but I can’t help wondering if one of the reasons for the light sentence was that the jury somehow picked up on her vindictiveness, found it as ugly as I do, and decided they didn’t want to give her what she wanted.)

Still, the most frustrating response comes not from the victim or Fox News or Gatewaypundit, but from ethicist Jack Marshall at Ethics Alarms, whose post first brought my attention to the case.

As is usual, I have a number of quibbles with Jack’s analysis. For example,

“Justice had to be done,” said another juror, Janice Woolridge, explaining the guilty verdict. “But there’s also got be some compassion somewhere. Young people make bad decisions. We just couldn’t pile on any more.”

[…]

(Note to juries: your job is to determine the facts and guilt or innocence. Compassion should be left to judges.)

The parenthetical comment is not how things work in Virginia, where jurors are given the responsibility for determining not only the facts but, in the event of a guilty verdict, the sentence as well. Thus considerations of compassion are entirely appropriate.

One of Jack’s commenters explains this to him in a comment, to which Jack responds,

In this case, the judge should have rejected the jury’s fine and imposed one they’d really have to dig down deep for.

That’s also not the law in Virginia. When a criminal jury recommends a sentence, the judge can only lower it, not raise it.

I’m not a lawyer, so I shouldn’t throw too many stones, but since Jack teaches legal ethics for a living, it would be nice if he got the law right. To be fair, this was a free blog post, not professional advice, so he definitely deserves some slack for shooting from the hip. But he’d make his point more effectively if he focused on the jury’s decision making instead of ranting about ordinary Virginia criminal procedure.

However, as I mentioned in a comment (which Jack called “obnoxious and unfair, as well as ignorant”), in the unlikely event that anyone ever asked me if they should hire Jack to teach legal ethics, I would point them to these two statements:

If she had confessed and was remorseful, why did she plead not guilty?

[…]

If you are guilty and admit it, then you don’t try to get lucky with a jury.

Jack is certainly not the only lawyer to think it’s unethical to plead not guilty. (As far as I can tell, it’s pretty much criminal defense lawyers v.s. everyone else — which is practically a criminal lawyer’s job description.) But I think this is the result of confusing the legal meaning of a “not guilty” plea with the common everyday meaning, as Illinois lawyer Jeremy Richey explained some time ago:

Those words do not operate in a vacuum; they are part of our legal system. Our legal system establishes a presumption of innocence for every person charged with a crime and places a burden on the government of proving the accused guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. When a person utters the words “not guilty” in court, all the players (such as the judge, prosecutor, and defense lawyer) understand that the person is requiring the government to carry its burden.

In other words, pleading not guilty is the mechanism by which you secure your constitutional right to a jury trial. And in Virginia in particular, pleading not guilty is a necessary step in claiming your right to be sentenced by a jury instead of a judge. There’s nothing unethical about asserting your rights.

In the comments, Jack attempts to draw a careful line between the ethics of a lawyer and of the client:

An ethical lawyer tells a guilty client that he or she has a good chance of being acquitted, and lets the client decide, after advising the client on the right thing to do. An ethical law-breaker turns himself in, pleads guilty, and accepts the just consequences of wrongdoing.

I see what Jack is getting at here, but it’s nonsense. First of all, on a practical level, how would this work? Is the defendant supposed to meet with her lawyer, discuss her case in detail, listen carefully to his wise counsel, and then just go ahead and ignore everything he recommended? Or do I misunderstand, and when Jack talks about “advising the client on the right thing to do,” does he mean that the lawyer should tell his client to plead guilty? Not for tactical reasons, but because it’s “the right thing to do”?

But why would it be the right thing to do? Owning up to your sins and accepting “the just consequences of wrongdoing” is great ethical advice for, say, a child apologizing to his mother for breaking a vase full of flowers, or a husband explaining to his wife how he lost the rent money at the track. But is has nothing to do with what goes on in a criminal proceeding. Jack is trying to smuggle an awful lot of bullshit into his argument on the backs of the words “just consequences.”

Pleading guilty isn’t the same as accepting the “just consequences.” Pleading guilty means accepting whatever consequences the prosecutor can convince the judge to impose, and there’s no basis for believing those consequences will be just. In an ideal world, the judge will be a neutral party, but the prosecutor will always be your adversary. At best, he’s going to be a stern by-the-book guy, and at worst he’ll be a fucking monster. In any case, the decision will be made by a system that is now biased against you.

So what happens if you feel a 90-day sentence is a just consequence, but the prosecutor is thinking more like five years? Contrary to the implications of Jack’s argument, there’s no a priori reason to assume the prosecutor’s preferred sentence is a just one. Normally, this would be resolved in plea bargaining, where you (through your lawyer) and the prosecutor negotiate to a sentencing plan that is acceptable to both of you. That won’t work, however, if you’ve already committed to a guilty plea, because your only bargaining power comes from your ability to walk away from the bargaining table and demand a trial.

(We can’t be sure, because the news stories don’t say, but it’s quite likely that this case went to trial after an unsuccessful plea bargaining stage. Ms. Mendez Ortega was probably willing to accept consequences for her actions, just not the consequences the prosecutor was willing to offer.)

It’s not sensible to believe that “just consequences” will result from an adversarial system where one side agrees in advance to the other’s terms, and it’s not unethical to refuse to accept such one-sided terms.

Oh my God! They’re going after Squawk!

It all started back in May, when Appellate Squawk (who somewhat disappointingly turns out not to be a bird with legal superpowers but a human female working for the New York Legal Aid Society) published a post poking mild fun at her office’s training about the importance of asking clients to clarify their gender. Here’s a taste:

Lawyer: [Reading from a card] I need to know whether your name expresses your internal deeply-held sense of your gender which may or may not be the same or different from your sex assigned at birth –

Defendant: Yeah, whatever. Then they handcuffed me to a chair and started throwing lighted matches on my lap, causing imminent danger to my manhood –

Lawyer: Tut, tut, gender isn’t a matter of stereotypical physical characteristics –

Defendant:   – so I confessed. But I can prove it’s false because there’s a surveillance tape showing I was on the other side of town at the time. My wife  –

Lawyer:  Your wife? What gender identity does they go by?

Defendant: Yo, are you calling me a FRUIT?

Lawyer: That’s a very discredited terminology. The term is non-binary gender fluid –

Defendant: Will you lower your voice? I’m in a holding cell with 20 other guys, you know what I’m saying?

Lawyer: I’d feel so much better about our relationship if you’d only come out of the closet.

Defendant: But I’m a man. Like Muddy Waters says, “M-A-N, I’m the hootchie cootchie man -”

Lawyer: You sexist pig, how dare you! (Exit)

That should give you the general idea. It’s typical Squawk snark about the absurdities of criminal defense. But apparently it was enough to put some people over the edge, and the Legal Aid Society has started an investigation into the matter.

Scott Greenfield has more details about the original training,

As it turns out, soon after the announcement of the new discrimination and harassment policy, a CLE was held, where the lawyers were instructed that the first thing they must do when meeting their clients was not to ask about the case, not to ask about the defense, not to ask about anything having anything to do with that nasty old-school mission of criminal defense. How horrifying! How exhausting!

No, the first and foremost concern was that LAS lawyers were directed to ascertain their self-identified gender and sexual orientation. It didn’t matter that there was nothing to suggest a gender or sexual orientation issue. They must put it first. And never, but never, call a client “Mr. Smith,” as that would presume their gender, even if no one had ever shown them the respect of using an honorific before. As a last resort, they were trained to use the word “Mx.,” which always serves well in the holding cell to identify defendants who tend not to be particularly woke.

(Scott may be exaggerating a bit. He does that sometimes.) [Update: Scott clarifies in an email that no, he was not exaggerating at all about the substance of the training, which is apparently as self-parodying as it sounds…which is not nearly as self-parodying as the fact that Squawk’s post has triggered an investigation.]

Scott also has samples of the complaints, some of which are kind of amazing.

I am reporting the content of this blog as creating a contributing to a hostile work environment. Please read it. It is terrible.

Some of the complaint is a little more specific.

[Squawk’s] email has served as a huge distraction from doing my job today. I am upset and really troubled that someone who works at the Legal Aid Society-an organization whose motto is to make the case for humanity-is joking about the importance of honoring a person’s preferred pronoun and gender.

Actually, if I understand Squawk’s point correctly, she wasn’t joking about the importance of honoring a person’s preferred pronoun and gender. She was joking about CLE session’s over-emphasis on gender and pronouns.

Yes, I know people with non-traditional gender identities and sexual orientations are going to face special problems when arrested and jailed. I also know this is not news to most criminal defense lawyers. But criminal defense lawyers are supposed to represent the interests of their clients, and I’m pretty sure that for even the most gender atypical of criminal defendants, their main interest when meeting their lawyer is getting the hell out of jail.

It is disturbing that the message indicates that an attorney cannot zealously represent their client while inquiring about a client’s preferred pronoun and gender identity. If anything, by asking a client about their pronoun *furthers* an attorney’s ability to best represent their client.

Well, in the abstract, sure, the more a lawyer knows about their client, the better. But this conversation isn’t taking place in the abstract. It’s taking place in jail. There is no privacy in jail. It’s a terrible feeling, and Squawk doesn’t think their lawyers should be making it worse:

One of the many annoyances of being accused of a crime is having to put up with humiliating questions from your lawyer. Like, “Was your grandmother a drug addict?” “When was the last time you had sex?” or “Do you hear voices?”

So even if the client is a tough-talking street thug who sometimes feels he’d rather be a pretty girl, that may not be the sort of thing he feels comfortable sharing with a total stranger while locked in a cell block with a thousand other tough-talking street thugs.

Then there’s the possibility, also raised by Squawk, that the client may feel insulted that his lawyer is implying he’s less than 110% manly man. We can discuss whether he’s a bad person for thinking that being gay or transgender is an insult, but that doesn’t change the fact that zealous representation will be more difficult if he feels insulted by the very first thing his lawyer says.

But I’m drifting off the main point here. I’m not a lawyer, and I really have no business telling lawyers how to do their job. (Although, some lawyers, damn…) My point is that Squawk’s post wasn’t making fun of LGBTQ people. It was making fun of the people in her office who think LGBTQ issues are more important than proper representation of clients.