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The Bouquet Of My New Suburban Life

July 8, 2016 By Mark Draughn 2 Comments

I’m still recovering from my move to the new house. It turns out that packing all your stuff into boxes and then trying to reassemble it back into a working life is really time-consuming. I keep running into problems like wanting to put a piece of furniture together, which would be a lot easier with the right tools, which are all in boxes, and I’d like to unpack the tools back into my tool chest so I don’t lose them, but I locked the doors on the tool chest so it would be easier to move, and now I can’t find the keys.

Everything is like that, plus there’s all the stuff I have to figure out about the new house. What do all the light switches do? Where are the hose bibs? How much hose do I need? How does the gas fireplace work? Which way do we turn the keys in all the locks? When is the garbage picked up? And what are all the different cans for?

I only just got my home computer up and running a couple of days ago, and I still haven’t hooked up the speakers. I’ve got my electric shaver, but I can’t find the charger. I had to buy dishwasher soap, even though I know I’ve got enough for hundreds of loads in one of these boxes…

Then there’s last night’s introduction to another aspect of suburban life.

We got home after dark, and since the next day was garbage day, I walked around the side of the house to get the cans to roll them down the driveway to the street. As I passed the little fence that hides them, I heard a noise and looked over. Some kind of small animal was scrambling in the dark.

I couldn’t quite make out what it was, but I could tell right away that it wasn’t moving like a cat or a dog. As I pulled my flashlight from my pocket to get a better look, I remember thinking that it was moving a bit like a squirrel, but it was too big. Maybe a possum? No, I could see the fur was too long and scraggly…and then I flicked the light on.

Of course it was a skunk. A panicky skunk.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

It didn’t nail me dead on, but there was definitely a clingy odor on me and my clothes. I seem to have been able to wash most of it away, but every now and then I think I catch a whiff…

Sigh. Welcome to life in the suburbs, I guess.

Oh well, maybe the coyotes will kill the skunks.

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Filed Under: Home Ownership

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  1. Ken says

    July 9, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Cute little critters, aren’t they. I have a lot of them around here.

    https://youtu.be/n58vIQ4bG3E

    We don’t have any coyotes, but have foxes instead. They don’t like each other so you tend to only get one or the other. You had coyotes in Chicago, but may not have run into them.

    In Chicago they like to roam the alleys at night and catch rats. Chicago animal control was smart enough not to kill or trap them since they were helping out with rat control. They just advised residents not to feed them. The coyotes propagated all the way into downtown.

    As for avoiding future skunk encounters, just make sure you are noisy when walking around at night. I even talk to the unseen critters so they know where I am and where I’m heading. Back when I hiked the forest preserves after dark I did the same thing.

    Then, if you want to see them, just sit down somewhere and be still and quiet. Eventually something will come out. You may need to wait until mosquito season is over to be able to actually be still, though.

    Reply
    • Mark Draughn says

      July 10, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      Back in Chicago, I’ve seen coyotes running through my neighborhood at night. Researchers estimate that there may be a couple of thousand of them in Cook County. (There’s an ongoing research program.) They seem to be basically harmless to humans.

      After this experience, I don’t think I want to go looking for wildlife much. But I’m thinking of putting up a few cameras on the property.

      Reply

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