In the movies and on television, bank robbers are daring and audacious. After storming the bank in a blitz attack that stuns the guards, they force the bank manager to empty the vault while they raid the teller drawers. All the while, one of them yells out a precise two-minute countdown that will allow them to escape before the police respond.
In real life, bank robbers are mostly kind of dopey. You’d expect that, since the thought process behind most bank robberies goes something like this:
- I want money.
- Banks have money.
- I’ll rob a bank.
This is why there are so many stories about robbers who can’t think of any other bank to rob besides the one they use, where everybody knows them, and they write their demands to the teller on one of their own deposit slips.
Gideon points us to the latest development in dumb bank robberies:
Two accused bank robbers might have just been trying to save time when they called ahead and demanded that the bank have the cash ready when they got there. But placing and order for cash didn’t get them far.
Albert Bailey, 27, and a 16-year-old, both from Bridgeport, called People’s United Bank on Stratfield Road about 10 minutes before they came to rob it on Tuesday afternoon, the Connecticut Post reports.
“You can’t make this stuff up,” Sgt. James Perez, Fairfield police spokesman, told the Post. “They literally called the bank and said to have the bag of money ready on the floor because they’re coming to rob the place.”
Then, true to their word, they showed up – just as police were coming to greet them.
Gideon wants us to decide what sort of sentence these two clowns deserve.
these 2 stupid bank robbers are dumber than infants. It’s sad to think they passed school.