We’re Dead Last! We’re Dead Last!

The story Radley Balko was in town for last month is now officially out in the open, with an op-ed in the Chicago-Tribune:

At Reason Magazine, we recently took a look at how the 35 most-populous cities in the United States balance individual freedom with government paternalism. We ranked the cities on how much freedom they afford their residents to indulge in alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex, gambling and food. And, for good measure, we also looked at the cities’ gun laws, use of traffic and surveillance cameras, and tossed in an “other” category to catch weird laws such as New York’s ban on unlicensed dancing, or Chicago’s tax on bottled water.

The sad news, Chicagoans, is that your town came in dead last. And it wasn’t even close.

The comments at the Trib are interesting. One of them rightly questions the methodology of the study—this sort of thing is hardly subject to scientific rigor—but others go a long way toward explaing why we’re dead last:

The more dense cities get, the more rules that are needed to force, yes force, people to live together peacefully. Many people living in cities today grew up in the ‘burbs where they were pretty much spoiled rotten. Uncouth, loud, self-centered, demanding, no sense of community, in other words, typical Americans.

Right back at you, pal.

Then there’s “Matt Was Here” with this gem:

The headline to this article should be “Chicago Tribune headlines neocon propaganda on its web site.” The restrictions on smoking in those taverns has allowed me and everyone else who likes health and clean air the “freedom” to frequent them.

Matt, ignoring for the moment that you’re using “neocon” as a synonym for “opinions I don’t like,” if smoking in taverns took away your “freedom” to patronize them, don’t you think that outlawing smoking in taverns has taken away the freedom of non-smokers? You got what you wanted by taking away what other people wanted. You’re a thief.

As is “maddog”:

Yeah, your right – if I could sit in a smokey bar with a prostitute eating trans fats shooting geese with my handgun and eating their artificially enlarged organs, Chicago would be much more fun. Idiots. Do you ever think that it is more fun to go to a bar to see a band and not come out smelling like an ashtray? Or that trans fat do not make foods taste better, they just risk your health so corporations can make their crappy food cheaper?

Did you every think of finding or founding restaurants and music venues that that meet your standards instead of relying on the city to force all of them to meet your standards?

MDK writes in response to another commenter:

Maybe you are too young to remember what Chicago was like in the 60’s and 70’s. A **** hole. This city was a dump! It’s so beautiful now that tourist even come. We used to be known as the slaughterhouse capital of the world with gangsters at every corner. Now we are known for our culture, architecture and beautiful lakefront.

And, as always, our political corruption. Also, I live here, why would I give a shit what the tourists think? I want a city that works for me.

ADK says:

Chicago in last place among cities to do dirt in? I’ll take it. That’s called progress… Who says hanging out in bars and pouring poison down one’s throat ever added to the quality of life in any city?

People who live here and like to hang out in bars maybe? If they didn’t like it they wouldn’t do it. A lot of policies sound like good ideas if you don’t care about the people they hurt.

And the Unclear On the Concept award goes to “matty” for this:

I’m fine with most things listed. I just wish the city wasn’t so anti-art shows, dancing or having fun in general.

Sigh. There’s no hope for us, is there?