Drinking and Driving

Just to let you all know, I’m planning to do some drinking and driving this holiday weekend. Not drunk driving, mind you—that would be illegal—just some drinking and then some driving.

I’m very nearly a teetotaller by inclination. I think I’ve had four, maybe even five drinks so far this year. No reason for it, I just rarely ever get that “I’d like to have a drink now” feeling.

However, the moral stormtroopers at MADD have launched a new Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving.

This Campaign goes beyond slogans and taglines. It is precisely what it says it is. We want to completely eliminate drunk driving. With your help, we plan on making drunk driving the public health equivalent of polio.

First of all, polio is a public health problem and therefore polio is the public health equivalent of polio. Drunk driving, on the other hand, is not a public health problem—not in the same way as polio or malnutrition or poor waste disposal—no matter how much the folks at MADD try to pretend it is.

Second, they keep talking about ignition interlocks for cars and advance technology for alcohol detection:

First 5 years:

We’ll focus on widespread installation of existing and emerging technologies on convicted drunk drivers.

Second 5 years:

We hope to see implementation of improved technology on large fleets thanks to cooperation from the auto industry.

Ten years and beyond:

We could possibly see voluntary application to general population with insurance premium incentives..

In other words, they want to put alcohol detection gear and ignition interlocks in every car in America. They say this would be voluntary, but when has anything MADD wanted ever been voluntary? MADD has a list of 40 laws that they want passed in every state. Almost everything on their Take Action page involves getting laws passed. I don’t believe for a second that the petty tyrants at MADD won’t be forcing this technology down our throats in a few years.

In protest of this policy, sometime this weekend, possibly today, I’m going to have a drink and then I’m going to operate a motor vehicle on the streets and roads of metropolitan Chicago. Just because I know it would piss them off.

What can I say? I’m a rebel.