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Gleeful Battering

December 8, 2004 By Mark Draughn Leave a Comment

The Gleeful Extremist is bitching about the fact that federal employees leaving work are perfect mugging victims because everyone knows they’re not allowed to bring weapons to work.

I think I have a solution.

After 9/11 a lot of people realized that disarming airplane passengers had a bigger downside than previously believed. But what weapons to allow the passengers for self-defense? Guns were obviously too dangerous, and chemical sprays are very bad in such a closed environment. Knives would be safer, but probably still too concealable and likely to be abused. That leaves striking weapons. My first thought was police batons, but then I got the idea for the perfect patriotic weapon: Each airline passenger should be issued a regulation Lousiville Slugger.

So, do they allow sporting goods in federal buildings?

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