All In The Game

I woke up last night and had to leave the bed and move to the couch to get some sleep because my wife was snoring like a motherfucker.

Later, I drove my wife to a bead store that was gettin’ its ass out of the business so she could take advantage of the fucked up prices.

Meanwhile, I drove over to the Container Store. When the sales assistant came ’round, I almost told her to step off, but she had heart, so I bought that shit. Then I hollered at my wife that I was comin’ to get her.

On our way back, we got stuck behind a slow-ass cocksucker in a sports car. “Learn to drive that shit, motherfucker!” I yelled, but that boy had no sense in him.

We stopped for lunch, and I left the waiter a good tip because he earned it like a motherfucker.

Now I’m all up in here with my dick in hand, waiting for some 8 o’clock television.

It’s the final episode of The Wire, and I think I’m in the right mood for it.

Update: And it’s down.