Some advice for my transgender readers in the new year

There has been a surge of anti-trans violence in the last few years, including attacks leading to at least 36 deaths, and given the direction our country is going, it would not be surprising to see even more violence in the future. Given that possibility, I have some advice for my transgender readers–

Wait, what? A middle-aged white cishet male has advice for trans people?

Fair point. I’m sure I don’t know enough about transgender issues to give much in the way of useful advice — certainly not about transgender-specific issues. But I do know a bit about the subject of this post, so I think this advice may be useful nonetheless. So here it is:

Please give serious consideration to arming yourselves.

I mean with a gun. I think you should give serious thought to preparing to use a gun to defend yourself or your loved ones. Think about getting training and keeping a gun in your home or on your person. If that sounds extreme, I understand. But I’m worried that we may be entering a time when transgender folks may find such extremes to be necessary.

(Of course, most of this advice is not specific to trans people, or even LGBTQIA+ people. I’m really talking to any vulnerable person who is worried that the current cultural/political climate may bring life-threatening violence into their lives, and who is willing to consider armed self defense to counter the danger.)

Let me stop right here to address one common objection to this kind of advice: The trans haters are causing the problem, so shouldn’t they be the ones to change their behavior? Rather than telling trans people to protect themselves, shouldn’t I be telling trans haters to not hurt trans people?

In a word, no. Because that would leave the initiative in the hands of the trans haters. The trans haters don’t have to take my advice, so telling them not to hurt trans people would leave it up to trans haters to decide whether trans people will be safe. I would rather that the safety of trans people was under their own control.

Trans people might not take my advice either, but that is rightly their choice to make. On the other hand, no amount of educating, yelling, or pleading on my part will change the behavior of violent trans haters. But you know what will change their behavior? Getting shot by the victims of their hate.

Lest that sound too bloodthirsty, it’s important to clarify the meaning of armed self-defense.

It’s never about killing. You have no right to kill someone. But you do have a right to stop someone from killing you. ^[1]Or causing you great bodily harm, although that is more legally complex. In short, you have to be afraid you’re going to die. More than that, your fear has to be reasonable, which basically means that other people in your situation would have felt the same way. Then, and only then, are you allowed to stop someone by using a degree of force — lethal force — that might kill them. You’re not shooting to end a life, you’re shooting to save a life.

It’s not about revenge. Punishment is best left to police and prosecutors. Having a gun is not a license to be a vigilante. You can’t shoot someone for evil they did in the past, no matter how bad it was or how recently it occurred. The classic example is that if someone throws a knife at you, you shouldn’t shoot back because it’s too late to stop the knife and they are now unarmed. You are only allowed to shoot to prevent violent acts against you or another innocent person. So if the knife thrower draws another knife, you can now shoot to keep him from killing you with it.^[2]None of this is legal advice. The rules for how you determine whether someone is a threat to your life are fairly simple, but applying them to specific confrontations can be tricky, and they vary from state to state, so I’m not going to go into any more detail here.

It’s not about catching bad guys. That’s what cops do. That’s their job. Your job is simply to get away unharmed. You don’t chase bad guys, and you certainly don’t shoot them for running away. For you, breaking contact counts as a win.

It’s not about scaring people with your gun. Using a gun in a threatening manner is a crime. Even something as simple as placing your hand on your holstered weapon can get you in trouble. Of course, if someone is a legitimate threat and you draw your gun in preparation for self defense, that’s a completely different story. If they run away instead of attacking, all the better. But your reason for brandishing your weapon has to be legitimate self defense.

It’s not about standing up for yourself. If someone is giving you shit, having a gun is not a reason to be bold and give them shit in return. Quite the opposite: As an armed person you have a moral, and often legal, obligation to try to de-escalate and avoid conflicts that have the potential to end in deadly violence. If you ramp up the intensity of the confrontation, the police might accuse you of intentionally provoking the fight as an excuse to shoot

The basic rule is that the only time you are allowed to shoot someone is when you have to shoot someone. And the truth is, it would be best if you never have to. Shooting someone is bad for you on so many levels, and it’s worse if you kill them. Even if you are completely justified in shooting an attacker, the police will at the very least cuff you up and take you into custody while they investigate what happened. Depending what witnesses tell them — including the attacker’s friends — you may even be charged with crimes. Furthermore, you may get sued by the attacker or their family, which will be expensive even if you win. Finally, killing someone can be bad for your mental health. The guilt of having killed can be crushing, even if the shooting was completely justified. Except for getting shot or killed yourself, shooting or killing someone is the worst possible outcome.

Whether armed self-defense is a route you want to follow is an intensely personal decision. You might not be ready for it. Then again, you might be more ready than you think. Here are a few things to consider:

• Do you meet the legal requirements to own a gun? The Federal requirements are here. You’ll also need to check the requirements for your state, which can vary quite widely. Some states require paperwork and a background check just to get permission to buy a gun. Other states will allow you to carry a concealed handgun as a natural right.^[3]The good news (sort of) is that the more likely a state is to have lots of anti-trans sentiment, the more likely it is to make it easy to own guns..
• Are you sufficiently mentally healthy? If you know you have a problem with impulse control, for example, then you may not want to risk the possibility that you will shoot somebody in anger. On the other hand, if you’ve had severe depression or suicidal ideation, then maybe you shouldn’t give yourself easy access to a gun. You probably also shouldn’t use a gun if you have trouble dealing with reality, such as if you are schizophrenic or having hallucinations.
• Are drugs and alcohol a problem? You shouldn’t carry a gun if you have a substance abuse problem. If you don’t abuse substances, but like to indulge on occasion, then just don’t have your gun with you on those occasions.^[4]The legal requirements at the federal and state level may be more stringent than how I am characterizing them. Please don’t take this as legal advice. Guns and drugs, including alcohol, don’t mix.
• Can you handle the responsibility? Are you capable of handling a gun safely and responsibly? Can you keep a gun safely in your home? Do you trust yourself to carry a concealed weapon in public on a regular basis? Would you be able to shoot someone if you had to?

You should be able to address those first three items with a little thought and introspection. That last one, however, will be difficult for you to reach answers about if you are unfamiliar with guns and how they are used in self-defense. The only solution for that is education.

Learning the basics of shooting a gun safely is no more difficult than learning to use a moderately complex tool, like a compound miter saw, MIG welder, or sewing machine. You start with the basics, and then get better the more you do it.

Learning to use a gun in self-defense is more difficult, because you have to learn law and tactics, but it’s not as daunting as you might think. Here in Illinois, the standard for sworn police officers is only 40 hours of firearms training, and police operate in a more complex legal and tactical environment than someone engaged purely in self-defense. Even if you have no interest in guns, you can treat armed self-defense like a skill that you have to learn to get a job, such as using a computer, driving a truck, or operating specialized equipment.

So if you think you might want to arm yourself for self defense, but you don’t know enough to be sure, perhaps a good first step is to take a basic pistol course. The course will explain the types and parts of pistols and how they work, introduce you to the safety rules, explain ammunition choices, teach you the basics of modern safe and accurate pistol fire, and give you a chance to try several different guns. It may also discuss local laws for transporting and carrying a pistol. You’ll come out of this course with a better understanding of guns, and a better idea of how comfortable you feel around them.

Given the general right-wing tilt of gun owners, you may be understandably concerned about how you will be treated by firearms instructors, range operators, and other shooters. Perhaps the simplest way to deal that concern is to see if there’s a Pink Pistols chapter in your area. The Pink Pistols are the most well known LGBT gun training group in the country. Alternatively, if you can’t find a chapter nearby, you can try searching the list of LGBT-friendly firearms instructors at Operation Blazing Sword.

If you can’t find explicitly LGBT-friendly instruction, you’ll have to find a regular nearby gun range. My gut feeling is that it will be fine.^[5]But perhaps my cishet white male gut feelings aren’t very accurate. I can’t promise that you’ll be welcomed with open arms, but I will say that gun people are no more a monolithic culture than trans people. Some instructors despise intolerance and would welcome a chance to undermine the stereotype. And even if an instructor doesn’t like you, that doesn’t mean they won’t be willing to teach you. Spend enough time around gun ranges, and I guarantee you’ll meet that guy who (1) thinks your “lifestyle” is sinful, and (2) supports your “God-given right” to carry a gun.

Moreover, gun ranges tend to foster a culture of civil respect between shooters. So while some people there may not like you, they’re unlikely to give you much trouble. After all, you’ve got a gun.

Speaking of gun culture, one thing you should expect to find with a good instructor or at a good shooting range is a very serious safety culture. There are rules to gun safety, and you should expect to have them explained to you and enforced at all times.^[6]Yeah, the gun safety rules link to the NRA. I know they’re controversial and run by nutcases these days, but you’ll need to get used to their presence. The National Rifle Association was founded in 1871 as an instructional organization and has been at the core of gun training for decades. Your pistol instructor will likely be NRA certified. Most ranges have specialized rules of their own as well. If you ever don’t feel like the rules are being taken seriously, or if you feel unsafe for any reason, leave and go find someplace else to train.

Another thing to look for at a gun range is a good selection of rental guns. If you do decide to get a gun for self defense, you’ll be spending $500 – $800 on it, so you want to be able to try a variety of pistols to see which ones you like best before you invest your money.

I’m assuming you’ll end up getting a pistol and not some other kind of firearm because pistols are good general-purpose defensive weapons. If you live in a rural area, you may find that a rifle or shotgun has a place in your home defense plan, but pistols are easier to maneuver through tight doorways and around corners than a yard-long rifle or shotgun, and they are the only weapon you can reasonably carry concealed when out in public.

If you develop a genuine interest in guns, you may end up getting multiple guns for various reasons including different kinds of defense situations. But if you know nothing about guns but are nevertheless considering arming yourself — i.e. if you’re reading this post for advice — you probably don’t want to have to buy, learn, and practice with more than one type of gun. You’ll probably end up getting a pistol.

Beyond that, I can’t give you much more advice about what to get. First of all, I don’t know nearly enough about guns to give you more than the most basic advice. Second, that’s a personal decision you’ll want to make based on your defense needs, your level of gun handling skills, and your personal preferences. You should get advice from your instructor and other experienced shooters about which gun to buy, but always keep in mind that you’ll be the one who has to live with it, carry it, and train with it.

After your basic pistol course, some personal practice on the range, and some discussion with your instructor and fellow students, you’ll probably have a good idea if armed self defense is something you want to do. If not, well, at least you got to try something new and different.

If you do decide to go ahead, you may have to qualify to carry a concealed weapon in your state. In some states, this may require you to take mandatory classes, pass tests, and pass a background check. Other states follow a policy, sometimes called “constitutional carry,” where as long is you are not legally prohibited from carrying a gun (e.g. because of a felony conviction or drug addiction) you have an inherent right to carry a gun, no permit required. Be sure to follow whatever rules your state requires.

If your state has mandatory classes, they will most likely cover basic safety and legal issues related to armed self-defense and concealed carry. Even if you aren’t required to take such classes, it’s probably a good idea to take one anyway, because even in states with constitutional carry there are laws affecting how and where you can carry. For example, most states prohibit concealed carry in places like schools, banks, bars, and government buildings. There are also protocols for what to do if stopped and questioned by a police officer while carrying a gun.^[7]Pro tip: Don’t just blurt out “I have a gun!”

If you only plan to use your gun for home defense, qualifying for concealed carry is not strictly necessary. However there seems to be a consensus among self defense gun owners that having a carry permit reduces the risk that you’ll accidentally do something illegal with the gun.

Having the right to carry a gun doesn’t prepare you to actually defend yourself effectively with a gun. Even if you’ve had mandatory training, those courses tend to focus on law and safety, not tactics. You should take additional courses and do some more practice shooting on your own.

Your additional training will likely consist of at least three areas of education:

• Additional training on practical applications of self defense law. Basically, applying the legal rules to specific examples to help you think through situations you are likely to encounter.
• Tactics. How to use a flashlight or gun light. How to buy yourself more time during an encounter. How to take cover. When to shoot. What parts of the body to shoot at. How to respond to an intruder. How to handle multiple opponents. How to safely break contact and get away.
• Shooting skills. How to draw quickly and shoot accurately. This is practice on a shooting range.

Successful self defense with a gun means shooting your attacker in an important part of their body before they can harm you. You’ll need to practice quite a bit at first to build up the skill to draw quickly and shoot accurately, and then you’ll need periodic practice sessions to maintain your skill. There are ways to practice some of this safely in your home, but you’ll need to hit the gun range a few times per year.

That’s it. Get the initial training, practice occasionally, and you’ll be good to go should you ever need to defend yourself with a gun.

On the other hand, there’s a very good chance you will go your entire life and never need to use your gun. Most people don’t. Even most police officers don’t ever fire their guns in the line of duty. It may be you will buy a gun and holster and get training and practice for hours at the range without ever having to put your skills to use.

That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad idea. I’ve owned fire extinguishers for 40 years and never had to put out a fire. But if I ever do need a fire extinguisher, I’ll probably need it very urgently, and it will be good to have one handy.

One more thing you should consider: Carry a first aid kit. A serious one. Not just a pouch full of band-aids and antibiotic creams. I mean a small military-style IFAK or a civilian Stop-the-Bleed kit.

If you really believe you need to carry a gun because you might someday find yourself in a fight for your life, then you also might someday find yourself badly injured in an attack, and having the right gear, such as a tourniquet that you can apply to yourself with one hand, could save your life. And even if you are never the target of a deadly attack, there are other ways that you or a friend or family member could be injured badly enough to benefit from immediate stop-the-bleed treatment. So even if you never get yourself a gun, it might still be a good idea to get Stop-the-Bleed training and keep a kit with you.

As I said before, it’s quite possible that none of this will ever be necessary, and the effort and expense of being prepared will remain a burden that never pays off. That’s why I’m not going so far as to tell you to get a gun for self defense. But I do want you to give it some serious thought.