So, it’s 4/20, which is apparently some sort of big day for pot smokers. I don’t know why, but pot smokers have glommed onto the number 420 or 4:20 or 4/20 as somehow being tied to pot. I’m sure it makes sense if you’re stoned.
Anyway, I think I’ve established my libertarian credentials well enough that I can now afford to make a libertarian confession: I hate marijuana.
When I was a teenager, I hung out with some friends who sometimes smoked pot. I remember being at parties where the smell got so thick in the air that I’d reflexively hold my breath until it started to hurt. When I finally took a breath, the smell made me want to vomit, and I had to leave. Marijuana smoke is a disgusting smell, and I can’t imagine ever voluntarily inhaling something that smelled like that. I’ve developed a visceral hatred for the weed.
I hate the smell of it so much that just thinking about it now makes be feel a little queasy. I don’t like to see pictures of people smoking it. I don’t even like seeing pictures of piles of marijuana. I can imagine the smell and it makes me ill.
(In truth, I have no idea what unsmoked marijuana smells like, having never been around it in significant quantities, but what I imagine is pretty awful.)
I hate all the gadgets that pot smokers use. I vaguely remember some friend showing me his collection of pipes and expecting me to think they were really cool because they were carved into weird shapes, or because he had fuckin’ stories about how when he bought each one and the places he used them. I hate watching pot smokers constantly fiddling with the pipes, poking at the insides for some damned reason. I hate roach clips, which always look filthy and have stupid shit attached to them. I hate all the stupid decorative bongs, and they way pot smokers get so excited about a new one.
I hate cannabis culture. I hate all the cute words marijuana smokers use — pot, weed, grass, joint, blunt, roach, spliff, toke, jay, reefer, chronic, ganja. I hate all pictures of people smoking up and all the stupid drawings of marijuana leaves and all the little cartoon figures of people smoking pot.
Kids, smoking pot doesn’t make you cool. It just makes you smell like pot.
Sorry, but I just needed to get that out there. Truthfully, I’m using the word hate for effect. I don’t hate all that stuff I just mentioned, I just find it all irritating. Except maybe the smell of pot. That I probably do hate.
I think the smell has a lot to do with it. Olfactory memories tend to run especially deep and strong. I hate the smell of pot so much that I have an unpleasant response to anything that reminds me of the smell of pot. Such as, for example, pot.
None of this means I am any less in favor of ending drug prohibition. I hated pot long before I learned to hate the drug war, and my dislike of many illegal drugs has nothing to do with how I feel about legalizing them. It will be a great day when marijuana is finally legalized.
But on a personal level, I’m not looking forward to the smell.