You Can’t Touch That

Just when I think the zero tolerance rules in public schools can’t get any more idiotic, this story hits the net:

Fairfax County middle school student Hal Beaulieu hopped up from his lunch table one day a few months ago, sat next to his girlfriend and slipped his arm around her shoulder. That landed him a trip to the school office.

Among his crimes: hugging.

All touching — not only fighting or inappropriate touching — is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: “NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!”

Do they really want a generation of children that views all touching as something wrong? Do they really want a student body in which no one ever feels the comforting touch of a friend? This is verging on child abuse.

Why, you may wonder, would they do this?

Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer’s principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.

And now they’ll never learn to understand. The stupidity is mind-boggling. Does Principal Hernandez plan to avoid mentioning algebra because the children don’t understand it? Gosh, if only there were some place—some sort of institution perhaps, staffed by people with special training—where young people could learn basic knowledge about how to survive in our society…

“You get into shades of gray,” Hernandez said. “The kids say, ‘If he can high-five, then I can do this.’ “

Yeah, because college degrees in Education just don’t prepare teachers to deal with questions that tricky.

Dr. Helen puts it this way:

This no touch rule seems wrong in so many ways, I don’t know where to begin. I used to think schools were becoming like prisons, but honestly, prisoners have more rights. As one parent so aptly put it in the article, “how will you teach students right from wrong?” Indeed, how? For, if every behavior is seen in terms of black and white, how will kids learn where the boundaries are? Physical touch, along with adult guidance teaches kids where the boundaries are, no touching at all teaches them that normal expressions of behavior are aberrant–or that they have to sneak behind the backs of those in authority to get or show affection. What kind of lesson is that to teach?

The comments at Dr. Helen’s blog are pretty interesting. It’s amazing how many people make references to science fiction stories about dark future distopias. It’s that bad.