Hey gentle readers.
As a new part of the terms and conditions for reading my blog, I’m now requiring every visitor to please pull out your digital camera (cellphone cameras will do just fine), strip naked, take a full-body picture of yourself, and email it to me.
I promise I’ll only look at it once, I’ll be the only person to look at it, and I’ll delete it as soon as I’m done.
I’ll wait…
By the way, this is all part of a public service I’m performing to help you get used to some of the new airport scanning techniques the Transportation Security Agency is planning for us.
PHOENIX – Sky Harbor International Airport here will test a new federal screening system that takes X-rays of passenger’s bodies to detect concealed explosives and other weapons.
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The security agency’s Web site indicates that the technology will be used initially as a secondary screening measure, meaning that only those passengers who first fail the standard screening process will be directed to the X-ray area.
Even then, passengers will have the option of choosing the backscatter or a traditional pat-down search.
Ooh, good idea. If you don’t want to send me a picture, let’s just meet somewhere so I can run my hands over you for about a minute. That will work too.
The technology already is being used in prisons and by drug enforcement agents, and has been tested at London’s Heathrow Airport.
That’s right folks. And here you thought modern air travel couldn’t possibly feel any more like being on the prison bus. Soon, the TSA will treat everyone just like a criminal.
Some say the high-resolution images — which clearly depict the outline of the passenger’s body, plus anything attached to it, such as jewelry — are too invasive.
But the TSA said the X-rays will be set up so that the image can be viewed only by a security officer in a remote location. Other passengers, and even the agent at the checkpoint, will not have access to the picture.
In addition, the system will be configured so that the X-ray will be deleted as soon as the individual steps away from the machine. It will not be stored or available for printing or transmitting, agency spokesman Nico Melendez said.
That’s right, just let the strange man peek for a moment…
It’s an improvement on the present system, at least, where routine screening involves more intimate contact than I got from my first girlfriend, and the intensive examination can be more invasive than I get from my doctor.
Of course, for health reasons I haven’t flown commercially from the US since liquids were banned. Just working on getting my pilot’s license…no more TSA! :)